Do we hide behind poetry

Poetry often raises the question of whether it reveals or conceals. Swarnim Agrawal, a poet from India now based in Exeter, UK, explores this in her first collection of poems titled “Subtle Intricacies—silences and screeches from the early 20s.” A graduate of the MA Creative Writing program at the University of Exeter, Agrawal’s work has appeared in International Times, Enigma, and the anthology Poetry and You. She has performed at open mics and served as a judge for Slamovision 2023. Her poetry focuses on the delicate interplay between human emotion and mental well-being. Agrawal approaches mental health in her poetry with subtlety, avoiding the clinical terms that often dominate discussions.

Poetry became a way to address the spaces where language and experience don’t align. Inspired by poets like Philip Gross and Louise Glück, she aims to “give words to the inexpressible and make palpable the un-imaginable,” exploring the moments that can spiral into larger mental health challenges. “I wanted to examine the ordinary things,” she writes, “those that feel too small for therapy but need attention.” Her silence, ellipsis, and spacing give the reader room to reflect. Drawing from Glück’s belief in the power of the unsaid, Agrawal’s poems use these pauses to “separate out voices or ideas” and highlight what remains unspoken.

In her pieces “Inheritance” and “Letters,” indented and italicised lines signal the voices of her parents, creating a layered narrative that connects personal memory with mental health. Agrawal grew up in Allahabad, India, attended St Mary’s Convent Inter College, and earned her BA in English from Lady Shri Ram College for Women, University of Delhi. Despite her background in psychology, Agrawal found herself distanced from clinical language. “The coldness of those terms didn’t fit the story I was trying to tell,” she says. Poetry allowed her to express what felt too fragmented for other forms. Her poems, with their quiet pauses and careful gaps, articulate what’s often unspeakable in mental health, capturing both disconnection and connection. Agrawal’s writing explores the intricate emotions of human existence, often linking the natural world to mental well-being. A logophile for over a decade, she delves into the roots of English pronunciation, etymology, and rhetorical devices, refining her understanding of language’s impact on thought and expression. Her focus on psychological literacy and communication skills also shapes her work, adding depth to her prose and poetry.

In this collection, Agrawal uses poetry to explore human experience. Through its fragmented structure and subtle shifts, her work offers a fresh perspective on mental health, acknowledging the gaps, the unspoken moments, and the everyday struggles that shape who we are.

The following is an excerpt with full permission granted by the author exclusively for the Trinidad Guardian. Since moving to Exeter for her master’s, she has been involved in several literary projects, including the Ecological Sound Trail at the University of Exeter and the UN- ESCO Bridging Cities: ExeterxJakarta initiative. Her work with Exeter’s independent bookshop Bookbag on the Fore Street Stories project reflects her commitment to storytelling beyond the page. Beyond writing, Agrawal’s interest in photography has led to her work being exhibited at Positive Light Projects in Exeter, offering another lens to capture the connection between emotion and nature.

Excerpt from "Subtle intricacies - The silences and screeches from the early 20s" by Swarnim Agrawal

Transitions

I was told not to go out alone or in the dark

there will be traffic, there will be dogs running after each other and me

cows obstructing the road, bulls with horns that could attack without any reason

cars with honking horns always rushing from one place to the other

and people, a menagerie of people some will just stare at you, some will stare and comment

the way you dress, the way you walk, with whom you're walking, where you're

walking to, where you're walking from

some will compare how you looked before versus how you look now

some will follow you, some will decide to let you know their opinions

you will get introduced to a new vocabulary of derogative words

you will leam the many ways a person can be looked upon

you will suddenly find yourself walking fast trying to avoid narrow low-lit lanes

before remembering that your house is in one such lane

I am told not to go out alone or in the dark

there is barely any traffic dogs and cats scare me still

one cat jumps at me from a gate post another dog runs towards me barking fiercely

sometimes there is too much silence without any horns or people talking

people still rushing from one place to another but here they mostly walk

here too there's an assortment of people some wearing summer clothes in single digit degree temperatures

some cycling away on elevated paths

some rushing towards their workplace in the morning some carrying laptops to lectures

from signatures in applications and school diaries

some dragging trolley bags full of groceries

some enjoying the people playing music in the city centre

here too I’m a curiosity, one of those foreign imports

here too people look and talk and follow

yet the percentage sometimes seem lower than before

I still avoid the narrow low-lit paths knowing my house is a somewhat protected area

security cars constantly patrolling

sometimes I still fear going out alone or in the dark yet here I am learning

learning new ways of etymologizing my life

Letters

carefully i detach the paper from the parcel

two rectangles of white paper, two addresses

one that i call home, other that i call home for now

current home = the address on my parcels and letters

there's the handwriting with those neat curled alphabets

that i recognise from childhood

from signatures in applications and school diaries

fingers folding the margins on official letters

i remember my father's WhatsApp status

“Daughter's dreams are my dreams"

carefully i peel off those bits of paper from the cardboard

and luck them away with the other relics

like flowers pressed between the pages of a book . ..

Ira Mathur is a Guardian Media journalist and the winner of the 2023 OCM Bocas Prize for Non-Fiction for her memoir, Love The Dark Days. Website: www.irasroom.org.