Through writing a survivor of gun violence found her voice
This Sunday the Guardian Bookshelf features Caron Asgarali, an author who is a gun violence survivor.
In 2013, at age 47, Caron Asgarali, then a Chemistry teacher, was shot point-blank in her face, chest and shoulder by a masked man. Her life and appearance was “violently” and abruptly taken from her and she feared she was “slipping from this world.” Asgarali was battling for her life, hospitalised in ICU and Ward 8 at the San Fernando General Hospital, “confined to a bed and unable to speak because of the injuries, and unable to sleep despite being medicated” as her mind played over the scenario of the shooting “over and over.”
Her family was left traumatised, outraged, and wanting revenge. Writing gave Asgarali a voice when hers was broken, the courage to carry on, and a means to heal: “Not being able to speak in 2013 after lifethreatening injuries because of gun violence, I had to write. This writing, out of necessity, transitioned into writing as a form of therapy and using my experiences to help others. Writing helps me to think clearly.”
Out of that trauma, Asgarali wrote her first non-fiction book, From Lion To Lamb – A Spiritual Journey, became a motivational speaker and began an NGO called RARE through which she advocates for peace and forgiveness. And she didn’t stop writing. She wrote four more nonfiction books on topics such as resilience, forgiveness, and spirituality and a compilation of stories by other trauma survivors “as natural follow-ups to the memoir.”
In 2018, came global recognition of her work as Asgarali was named a BBC Outlook Inspirations nominee when her story was chosen “to inspire the world.” The following is an excerpt with the author’s full permission:
“Bang! Bang! The explosive reverberation brought the silence and tranquility of the evening to a sudden and definitive end. What was yet to come would be death… or life… My whole life was turned upside down that night, the night I was shot in the face. This is not a story about pity, though; this is a journal of spiritual growth. Through divine inspiration, I discovered strength in the face of adversity, a strength I would never have imagined. I have been asked many variations of the same question, “How did you cope?” My answer was always the same. My God was with me, lifting me in His arms, carrying me every step of the way.
On that night, Tuesday, the twenty-ninth of January 2013, I went for a drive with a friend. On the way home from La Romaine in South Trinidad, we pulled into a vacant lot to turn before heading back in the direction we had come from. In a split second, the tranquillity of the night was blown away. It was like in the movies when the mood of the music changes to something sinister. The driver looked to his right and saw a masked man with a massive gun. Simultaneously, I looked to my left and noticed a shadow. Although I did not see any weapon, I somehow realised something was wrong and instinctively moved to protect myself. There was a loud, dull noise, and the car window was shattered. The driver sped off immediately.
Thank goodness for the quick acceleration of my Toyota Corolla! I thought a piece of wood had been used to hit the glass. I realised I was still hearing noises and gunshots as we sped off. I felt my face and prayed to God. I felt splinters from the window that had adhered to my face. Only when I felt something warm flowing from my chin did I confirm that I had been hit…in the face. How can I describe the myriad of feelings and thoughts in that instant? I kept thinking maybe it was nothing, but the warm cloying blood kept reminding me that something had happened.
The enormity of the damage was like an octopus - there were many tentacles, each representing the effect of this incident on different aspects of my life. This superseded the pain of the wounds. The car sped away as if the devil himself was after us.” End of Excerpt.
Currently Caron Asgarali is working with other writers to produce her Hot Cocoa on A Rainy Day Series (on cancer survivors) “to give voice to the many everyday heroes in our midst.” Since giving up teaching Asgarali has also been an editorial assistant to books by economist and politician Mr Winston Dookeran and diaspora journalist Parasram Ramoutar. She advocates for peace through Project RARE and hosts a free online platform, Writing to Heal. In 2022, 57 women were murdered in Trinidad and Tobago (Source: TTPS). On April 18 the heads of government of Caricom expressed their grave concern on gun violence and called on the United States of America to “urgently take action to stop the illegal exportation of firearms and ammunition to the Caribbean.”
IRA MATHUR is a Guardian columnist and the winner of the non-fiction OCM Bocas Prize for Literature 2023. www.irasroom.org